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How to pick up girls at a bar

2013-08-14 16:48:51 

I have been in the bar/club industry since I was 18 years old. While, I have never been the type to use my position in the venue to attract women, I have found a couple of interesting facts about girls in such environments. But let me be the first to say that you should almost never go after the girl that enters the bar/club by herself. She probably has a boyfriend who will be showing up later on, she is either their to spy or to make him jealous. Therefore, you will be looking for the girl who traveled with a group of friends.
In my 5 years of being in the club scene, I have found that girls become attracted to me simply because I am not looking for their attraction. I have found that almost every person that comes to these venues are either with their loved ones, or looking for one. Therefore, girls will never proactively seek the individual who is "hunting" for prey. Realizing this fact, I asked myself, what makes me so different. I am by no means the most attractive, richest, or best dressed in these environments. So why do girls find it easy to flirt with me and send me the "signals of attraction?"
The answer is clear, body language. The fact that I was the promoter/DJ had nothing to do with creating the attraction. In fact, because I was more focused on my work, and everything but the potential for attraction, made me desirable. I walked purposefully to each destination that I intended. I avoided prolonged conversations. If I purchased a drink for a girl at the bar, it was quick and I disappeared, but stayed in visible sight of her. These are all things that I did unintentionally, but reaped the benefit of. Before we jump into discussion of body language. Lets discuss some of the small details that you need to know about conceptualizing your approach.
Concept of Attraction
1. Women are emotional, you have to know what emotions to trigger. Most mend end up going for the platonic ones. They never try to move beyond a platonic conversation with a woman. And they never, ever risk crossing the line and letting a woman know that they are interested in more than just a friendship. If you let yourself linger too long without pushing those emotions to make her feel that sexual charge with YOU, then you are going to end up in the friend zone with no way out!
2. You have to display your status as a true, sexual alpha male. This is not as hard as it might sound. Being able to show that you are comfortable around women and that you can trigger attraction with a woman is about all it takes. To display this, you can use a little social proof by letting her see you create this kind of chemistry with another woman. This does two things. It shows that you are an in demand male and it also allows her to feel a tinge of jealousy, which is good as it causes a little sexual tension with a woman.
3. You have to be able to execute with confidence. By this I mean that you cannot make moves on a woman and show that you are nervous or uneasy in this situation. You want her to feel sexual attraction for you, not pity, or anything else. When you are able to move with confidence with a woman, you will be more likely to make her feel sexually attracted to YOU. You have to be able to make her feel as though she is with a man that is IN CHARGE, ready to make her feel what she needs to feel, and that you are the man that she wants to explore her sexuality with.
Now that you know that there is a way that you have to carry yourself when approaching a female in these situations; what are some of the specific messages you are sending with your non-verbal communication?
Body Language
 •Movement – Nervous guys are always fidgety and jerky. Confident men who are successful with women make very controlled movements. They walk slowly and only make controlled movements. You will never see a confident man with restless leg syndrome or fidgeting with his fingers. By slowing down your movement you are presenting to the rest of the world a more "comfortable" version of yourself and it makes you that much more approach-friendly.
Lean Back and Relax – When you are sitting up or in any sort of position that isn't standing up, lay back and relax. Let your arms hang down at your sides, and make yourself as comfortable as you possibly can. Shy guys have a tendency of "shielding" themselves from other people by sitting forward with their arms folded. Don't do this as it makes you look closed off. Relax!
•Be Spacious – In any situation, always take up as much space as possible. If you're sitting in a lobby, sort of lean back and kick your legs out. This is a "territorial" thing that all people notice subconsciously. If people see you taking up this space they will automatically assume you to be the alpha in the room and that you are the one who is the most laid back and fun!

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